"Travis's" are the thorn in the side of society.

This blog has been picking up steam and acquiring new readers and fans. For that, we applaud ourselves, and, well, Special K too. For years, I have had friends who liked to ring me at work to hear Special K's robotronic phone operating procedure. There is a renewed interest among friends and friends of friends in calling the office now.

Probably taken aback by the voice ("you mean that's a person???"), the caller asks Special K if "Travis" is available. Special K, in her signature monotone, answers that "this is a business, not a residence." Caller tries then get directions, which then just flusters Special K to the breaking point.

But let's back up. Special K's immediate response to the request for "Travis" implies that no one named Travis could possibly be employed. A "Travis" could only be at his "residence." Because, you see-- as I've now come to learn-- the Travis's of the world are never gainfully employed. A "Travis" is at home all day on the couch eating cheetos and watching Tyra all day and sucking away at our tax dollars. Damn Travis's! Get a job, Travis, and for god's sake do something with your life! (And quit giving out our number!)