Do you receive mail at your place of employment? I bet you do! Maybe a secretary (I think the PC term is “administrative assistant”) opens it, and put it on your desk. Perhaps an office manager drops it off at your cubicle? At my old job we had little cubbies, and once in awhile there would be mail for me in it—just like kindergarten!
Here at the house of crazy, we get mail too. But I’m guessing you already know our mail procedure is just a little off-kilter. Could it be any other way? You see, we get mail, and Special K opens it, and puts it into a file that says “First Class Mail.” I assume this is so we don’t go looking for the pesky “Book Rate Mail” in the same folder, but I’m not sure. This folder is then passed around to every employee (yes, all six of us) and we each sign off that we’ve read it.
Not so weird, right? Wrong! The “First Class Mail” folder is passed around to us with everything in it. The phone bill? Check! Weird jewelry catalogue addressed to a former director with gold-plate and “pink ice” baubles? Absolutely. The riveting page-turner “Plastics News*” which arrives weekly and always appears well read by the time it gets to me? Why not? And don’t forget invoices that pertain to only one or two people, postcards advertising for sales on paper and toner, invitations to events in our industry in Japan, written in Japanese, and course catalogues for “Management Training Centers—Now Holding Classes Near you!”
I can say with certainty that only a handful of mail items weekly have pertained not only to this organization, but to me specifically. I’m considering bringing in my personal junk mail and passing it around too, as it would have the same effect. What’s more, if you forget to initial next to your name—say, you were caught up reading about items in the lawn care catalogue that arrives at least once a month—Special K will bring the offending folder back to your office to make sure you do sign off. Even if the only thing in the folder is a postcard advertising phonecards!! Your compliance MUST be verified.
*Our work in no way is related to plastic or the plastics industry, yet we continue to receive Plastics News every week. I kind of look forward to it now.
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2 comments:
I believe this entry contains veiled references to the tumor/retard lady, and, for that reason, is viciously appealing but also morally reprehensible. This piquant yet deplorable state of affairs may lead me to revisit this blog often in order to verify any decay or improvement in the moral level of its entries.
Are the entries in the folder themselves catalogued? What would happen if, say, half-way through circulation certain other pieces of mail appeared suddenly (you've indicated you would like to try as much yourself)- besides their being wholly irrelevant, would said Maven of the US Postal Service pay notice to the new arrivals and fly into a flurry to discover the culprit or pay no heed so long as everyone had duly signed and acknowledged her obvious insanity?!
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