Knock-knock, Who's There? Me. Part Deux.

The following email was sent to us by Special K, emblazoned with the ominous subject heading "Security Issue." Wary times, these.

To All Staff:

We have a security issue that does not allow anyone to exit from the back door. In other words, you will be unable to leave the building by exiting from the back door. Mr. Repair Guy from SuperSafe Security Systems diagnosed the problem and suggested a call be made to alleviate the problem (after explaining what needs to be repaired and/or replaced).

Someone from SuperSafe Security is scheduled to repair this problem, tomorrow (Thursday, 1/22/09). In the meantime, please use the front door or the middle back door when exiting the building. Please let me know if you have any questions. Thank you.

Special K

It's actually no big deal; as you can detect from the email (kind of?), there is another, larger door a few feet away that is mainly used for deliveries that we can employ during this security crisis. The "middle back door," as its been deemed. Please note: you can actually enter through the offending door, you just can't exit.

When I returned from running, ready to buzz for Special K's robotronic door service, instead of my usual flawless entry (followed by K's panicked run down the stairs), I was met by Special K herself! She was peering at me through the narrow window on the door, looking panicked and leaping around in her usual ants-in-your-pants fashion. "I CAN'T LET YOU IN," she yelled, emphatic in her facial expression and wild gesticulation. "THE DOOR IS BROKEN!!!!"

I actually thought she was kidding -- it might have been a little funny to make me wait in the subzero winter temperatures before she let me in the "middle back door." Alas, Special K is incapable of both humor and irony. With a death stare I pointed to the working door, and Special K hopped the four feet over and let me in. "WE HAVE A SECURITY ISSUE! THE DOOR IS BROKEN!! I SENT AN EMAIL." She informed me.

"JUST AN FYI!"

The exciting follow up came just today, with this email:

To All Staff:

I want to inform you that it is very important to check that the middle back door located in the warehouse is completely closed (shut) after using it to exit the building (as you may remember, the regular “back” door exit is inoperable at this time). Occasionally the door takes some time to close or does not completely latch shut. Please check this door to be certain that it closes completely once you exit the building this way. Hopefully the regular back door that we all use will be repaired on Monday (this day for door repair was mentioned on Thursday, 1/22/09). Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns. Thank you.

Sincerely,
Special K

Please pray for our safety.