I'm sorry. So sorry.

Dear M:

My apologies for disturbing you. You just received a telephone call from Lisa of MA Company. She wanted to speak with you about mailing something relating to a show. She did not leave a telephone number, email address, or mention which show to which she was referring. She stated that she was going to email you a message – even though she knows that you will be out of the office until next week. I have no further information for you, sorry.

Special K

You're sorry? Somehow I don't think you are. And even though I read this on my Blackberry while relaxing on the beach, I still wanted to punch you while reading it.

So, there's been a bit of a hiatus

As you may have noticed, we haven't posted in a while. Part of it was that in spite of how frequently Special K gives us material, it sometimes ceases to be funny and begins to elicit only rage.

Part of it was that, tragically, we lost S from the office. Seriously, I can't begin to describe how much she is missed here.

Anyway, with S gone, and Special K being Special K, L and I were left to periodically vent to one another, which doesn't have quite the same appeal. Although we had been advised by some lawyer-y acquaintances that having this blog up for the world to see wasn't the smartest move, I have decided that I don't care. Enough of this wallowing. It's time for Special K to be in your lives once again.

Did I scare you?

We've all noted that none of us has ever seen Special K enter the restroom here in crazyland, aside from the one time that L caught her in there blowing her nose after the Long Haired One instructed her to do so. This is a particularly amazing feat when one considers that she commutes well over an hour each way to get to work. So to top off the numerous skills and special qualities we've mentioned, Special K can apparently "hold it" for at least 12 hours at a time.

I, on the other hand, find myself in the ladies' room periodically. And so when I was exiting the ladies' room and encountered Special K just outside the door, I didn't think that much of it. Except that she got a deer in headlights look, completely froze, and stared me down for a couple of seconds before blurting, "I am so sorry, did I scare you?! Excuse me."

I couldn't really manage much more than a look of disbelief and a slight shake if the head. No, Special K, you didn't scare me. I realize that I work in a small office, and that being the only one who works downstairs, I encounter the others less frequently than most people probably do in a normal work setting. Still, I recognize that I might just run into someone every now and then.

Maybe I should just learn to hold it.

I am terribly sorry

We have staff meetings every other Wednesday here in Crazyville. It's no biggie, just something I don't especially look forward to. The concept of "every other week" isn't too terribly difficult to grasp--last week we didn't have one, the week before that we did. That meant that today we were scheduled to have one.

I really appreciated Special K's personalized alert to me--it was sent at 9:25 am.

Dear M:

I just wanted to inform you that we WILL be conducting a staff meeting in the conference room this morning – Wednesday, September 3 – beginning at about 9:30 am (per The Boss Lady). My apologies for the surprise, I just learned that one was going to be held. In any event, see you there. Please let me know if this causes a conflict in your schedule. Thank you.

Sincerely,

Special K

I especially like that she gave me the opportunity to let her know whether this caused a conflict in my schedule--and gave me exactly 4 minutes to do so. That Special K, always looking ut for us!