Poor, poor S. In her last days, she made the tragic mistake of asking Special K if we happened to have a management meeting that week. One would think that this could be answered with something as simple as "yes" or "no." This was her response:
Dear S:
A tentative Management meeting has been scheduled for Wednesday, June 10, 2009 (beginning at approximately 9:30am in the conference room). D should be back in the office by then, and as far as The Boss Lady knows, everyone on staff is scheduled to be here on that particular day (6/10/09). She has not set up any other current staff meetings or future staff meetings for the upcoming summer months as she believes people will be taking time off work. Thanks for the reminder though – I will alert the other staff members of this upcoming event. The Boss Lady and I are to discuss the dates for other meetings to be held during the summer months………… to be continued (and thanks again).
Also, I checked the mailing prices several times for hard cover books to be mailed to Germany. The least expensive price for mailing 4 catalogues is approximately $83.13 (by regular USPS mail). It will take approximately 6-10 days for delivery (Global Express mail costs $180.00 – with 1-3 days for delivery, and Express mail is approximately $109.02 with approximately a 5 day delivery period).
I will check to see if the mailing prices are any less expensive – I am going to call the Post Office and learn their actual mailing prices.
Special K
The Boss Lady then emailed S to let her know that the meeting was, in fact, Friday, June 12. A sheepish Special K then emailed onces more to all staff:
To all Staff:
I have made an error and wish to make an announcement. The next Management meeting will be held on Friday, June 12 (not June 10), beginning promptly at 9:30 am in the conference room. Please let me know if this creates a conflict in your schedule. Thank you.
Sincerely,
Special K
I responded that I was out on annual leave that week--as I am every year, and had repeatedly reminded her and The Boss Lady. Never fear, Special K replied that she was on top of that--"The Boss Lady is aware of this (and you and I don’t have to set up a conference call!! YIPPIE!!) – but still plans to hold the meeting. Thanks for the heads up. Special K"
Yippie, indeed.
Showing posts with label dummy-proof. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dummy-proof. Show all posts
Monday, September 27, 2010
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Speaking of things things that are here, then just go away and sometimes (please, dear god) come back again...
First off, I have to admit that I am still cold and cranky and probably will be until at least April or so. I am probably allowing my bitterness over the premature end of fall to impact my extreme hostility towards Special K at the moment.
I am the big spender in the company. I rack up hundreds of thousands of charges without batting an eyelash--EXCEPT that the boss lady is a penny-pincher, and thus I scrutinze every invoice that crosses my desk, knowing that if I don't she'll call me out on it later. Raw material costs went up since you created an estimate for us 4 years ago? She doesn't care, she thinks that we should be invoiced exactly what you quoted in 2003. The cost of fuel has gone up and therefore affected shipping charges? Well, it just so happens that we don't acknowledge fuel surcharges here, so can you please delete that line item? It's retarded. But I am used to retarded around here.
So on Monday I was doing my oh-so-favorite task of reviewing and coding invoices to pass along to our accountant, including one with a couple of charges that were actually the responsibility of a partnering institution. So I carefully marked up one copy of the original invoice for accountant, telling her exactly what to pay, and exactly what amount of foreign currency to order a check for in order to settle the bill. The other copy of the invoice was to be submitted with our payment, so again, I carefully marked it up to show the subtraction of the contested charges.
Our accountant ordered a check in foreign currency, then carefully explained to Special K that when it arrived, she was to:
1) make a photocopy of the check for her records
2) give the check and the marked-up invoice to me
This shouldn't require explanation, we do it very frequently and have for years, but we know what we're dealing with here...
The check arrived when I was at lunch, and Special K dutifully photocopied the check, and left the original (AND a copy of the purchase order for which I have utterly no use) on my chair. But no coded invoice. I thought perhaps our Accountant had forgotten to give Special K the invoice, so I went up to her office and explained that I really needed that copy back to send with the check, since it was critical to understanding why we were submitting payment for less than the full amount of the invoice. Seh said that K had been instructed to return it to me, and sent me back to Special K, who first claimed to have given it to the Accountant, then claimed to have given it to me, then shrugged and said it had just mysteriously disappeared.
I have actually asked her to call the foreign currency check issuer to see if she might have somehow handed it off to their courier (which would not be surprising--although I would expect her to randomly hand off odd pieces of our mail with it). So far that has turned up nothing. I also requested that she go through the various "files" on her desk (not really files, per se, as they have absolutely no order other than being an assortment of colored folders into which she inserts papers in an entirely random fashion). I even told her to look through her trash, since I have seen her sitting in her chair for long periods over the past few days and randomly tossing papers into her bin--I am quite certain that she is probably tossing critical financial records, and holding on to old annual leave requests from 1996. But alas, no luck.
I guess it's time to give up and request another from the issuer of the invoice, but as we all know around here, the second I do, the one I have been seeking will probably mysteriously appear on my coworker's chair. Grr.
I am the big spender in the company. I rack up hundreds of thousands of charges without batting an eyelash--EXCEPT that the boss lady is a penny-pincher, and thus I scrutinze every invoice that crosses my desk, knowing that if I don't she'll call me out on it later. Raw material costs went up since you created an estimate for us 4 years ago? She doesn't care, she thinks that we should be invoiced exactly what you quoted in 2003. The cost of fuel has gone up and therefore affected shipping charges? Well, it just so happens that we don't acknowledge fuel surcharges here, so can you please delete that line item? It's retarded. But I am used to retarded around here.
So on Monday I was doing my oh-so-favorite task of reviewing and coding invoices to pass along to our accountant, including one with a couple of charges that were actually the responsibility of a partnering institution. So I carefully marked up one copy of the original invoice for accountant, telling her exactly what to pay, and exactly what amount of foreign currency to order a check for in order to settle the bill. The other copy of the invoice was to be submitted with our payment, so again, I carefully marked it up to show the subtraction of the contested charges.
Our accountant ordered a check in foreign currency, then carefully explained to Special K that when it arrived, she was to:
1) make a photocopy of the check for her records
2) give the check and the marked-up invoice to me
This shouldn't require explanation, we do it very frequently and have for years, but we know what we're dealing with here...
The check arrived when I was at lunch, and Special K dutifully photocopied the check, and left the original (AND a copy of the purchase order for which I have utterly no use) on my chair. But no coded invoice. I thought perhaps our Accountant had forgotten to give Special K the invoice, so I went up to her office and explained that I really needed that copy back to send with the check, since it was critical to understanding why we were submitting payment for less than the full amount of the invoice. Seh said that K had been instructed to return it to me, and sent me back to Special K, who first claimed to have given it to the Accountant, then claimed to have given it to me, then shrugged and said it had just mysteriously disappeared.
I have actually asked her to call the foreign currency check issuer to see if she might have somehow handed it off to their courier (which would not be surprising--although I would expect her to randomly hand off odd pieces of our mail with it). So far that has turned up nothing. I also requested that she go through the various "files" on her desk (not really files, per se, as they have absolutely no order other than being an assortment of colored folders into which she inserts papers in an entirely random fashion). I even told her to look through her trash, since I have seen her sitting in her chair for long periods over the past few days and randomly tossing papers into her bin--I am quite certain that she is probably tossing critical financial records, and holding on to old annual leave requests from 1996. But alas, no luck.
I guess it's time to give up and request another from the issuer of the invoice, but as we all know around here, the second I do, the one I have been seeking will probably mysteriously appear on my coworker's chair. Grr.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Creativity with Standardized Forms
A rant more than a funny story... well, it's at least ceased to be amusing to me.
One of my many charming responsibilities here is keeping certain quarterly reports. Most of the data that needs to be entered by me comes from standardized forms -- the information for which is filled in by none other than Special K.
Said forms are entirely fill-in-the blank and multiple choice. They were created with the intent to be 100% dummy-proof. I mean, I know what I'm dealing with here. Not only are the forms "dummy-proof," but I've asked Special K to alter them in way she wishes to make them easiest on her. These forms have remained completely unchanged in all the years that Special K has worked here.
And yet, it should come as no surprise to you, fair readers, that every three months when I go through Special K's stack of handwritten forms, it's like each and every one is the first one she's ever seen in her life. No two are filled out in the same way. Different information is left blank on each one, Multiple choice options are either ignored, or more than one conflicting option is selected. Incorrect-- and even impossible-- values are the norm. Extraneous and non-sensical notes are added on the side. I've gotten 2 or 3 copies of the same transaction. You get the picture. It's not funny to me.
One of my many charming responsibilities here is keeping certain quarterly reports. Most of the data that needs to be entered by me comes from standardized forms -- the information for which is filled in by none other than Special K.
Said forms are entirely fill-in-the blank and multiple choice. They were created with the intent to be 100% dummy-proof. I mean, I know what I'm dealing with here. Not only are the forms "dummy-proof," but I've asked Special K to alter them in way she wishes to make them easiest on her. These forms have remained completely unchanged in all the years that Special K has worked here.
And yet, it should come as no surprise to you, fair readers, that every three months when I go through Special K's stack of handwritten forms, it's like each and every one is the first one she's ever seen in her life. No two are filled out in the same way. Different information is left blank on each one, Multiple choice options are either ignored, or more than one conflicting option is selected. Incorrect-- and even impossible-- values are the norm. Extraneous and non-sensical notes are added on the side. I've gotten 2 or 3 copies of the same transaction. You get the picture. It's not funny to me.
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