My dentist keeps weird hours

I just want to preface this entry by saying that my dentist--who is now dentist to S & L--has the most awesome name in the history of the world. Unforunately, I can't type it here because even though I make fun of retards, I think it would be wrong to put his porn star-like name here for all the world to see. Let's just say it's sorta like "Dr. Adonis De Milo."

Anyway, I recently had to go to visit Dr. Pornstar to get fitted for my sexy new night guard. I suspect that it's a result of having worked here for more than 3 years, but lately I have started to grind my teeth down to nubs in my sleep.

I made an appointment, and they called the office to remind me of said appointment. However, they called early enough to avoid having to actually speak to anyone (one can only assume that they have had the misfortune of calling before, only to have to go through Special K to reach me). Special K checked the voicemails upon her arrival and left me this note:

Thurs. 11/6/08
(8:55 am)
M-
A Telephone message was left for you on the answering machine.
Thurs.
8:23 am
It is a courtesy/reminder/confirmation call for:
Monday, November 17 in Dr. Pornstar's office at 1:00 (pm?). No telephone number was left in case you need to make a change to this plan (I also left this message on the answering machine in case you need to review it).

Special K

Ok, a few observations:

They left the message on THE ANSWERING MACHINE. are you sure it wasn't YOUR MACHINE? There are so many machines here, I am glad you clarified...

"It is a courtesy/reminder/confirmation call"? Which one is it, Special K?!

Monday, November 10 in Dr. Pornstar's office at 1:00 (pm?) Nope, my dentist keeps weird hours. It's 1 am. Dentists now do this really cool middle-of-the-night scheduling. It's convenient.

Yeah, I'm a bitch, I shouldn't be so critical. But man, it's so annoying that she can't just leave a message that says:

M-Your dentist left a message reminding you of your appointment at 1 pm on 1/17.

Special K declines invitation to top secret pizza party

Since the boss lady is out of town, we are having our traditional lunch hour pizza party. Organizing the party involves asking all 5 or so staff members if they'll be here, and using a telephone to order a pizza to eat. I bravely assume this perilous task, as I place the good of all mankind above my own safety. (Yes, we have been "busted" for this before... you know by now not to ask). Sometimes we have gone so far as to take the pizza boxes -- the evidence -- to another dumpster, well aware that in doing so, we too have succumbed to the craziness of this place.

I invited Special K to join us. She declined, citing something about having an "emergency appointment" (sans card) 2 hours after the party. Well maybe she can't eat pizza today for whatever reason (in fact, I've hardly ever seen her eat at all, nor use the restroom -- see previous post), so I asked her to still join us. I guarantee you she will not. This means she will be quietly sitting at her desk and we will all be in plain view of each other. It is weird. But what isn't at this point.

Wait, I told her about the secret pizza party... does that mean I must kill her?