I don't even know how the Hell to explain this one

Special K weighs approximately 90 pounds. This is in spite of the fact that her lunch will often consist of not one but two Hot Pockets, a can of extra sodium soup and 4 yogurts. Seriously, it is bizarre how someone so tiny can pack away so many terrible things into one meal.

This year I got on a weird kick and decided that because I don't live in the part of the country where King Cakes are readily available, that I was going to make my own. So I did--a dozen of them, in fact. Because I consider the office my baking guinea pigs, I decided to bring my first one in and make sure it was considered edible before I continued with baking.

I gave Special K a piece in spite of her protests that it would make her fat. And this email was her "thank you":

Dear M:

Thank you so much for the delicious, NO-CALORIE breakfast treat! It was superb (in addition to low or no FAT).

Special K

Uh, whaa??

Nothing says "Yay, Christmas!" like Special K food announcements

To all Staff:

There is a box of candy for all to share courtesy of Custom Design (Lynn K). The candy is located on the kitchen counter – Please join in snacking on this Christmas treat!

Special K

Put these nuts in your mouth

It's the beginning of the holiday season, of the onslaught of edible gifts that will line our kitchen counter and tempt us all. Well, not really, given that few people seem to like us enough to give us gifts these days. But, anyway, we got our first package today, which was from a company that sends a big assortment of nuts each year. I'm always tempted to email them and say "Thank you, but next year, think chocolate!" Special K, however, seems delighted:

To all Staff:

This is to alert you that a Christmas snack was delivered (via UPS) this morning to us from That Company That Still Likes Us. The snack has been placed on the kitchen counter and is available for your eating enjoyment. Please feel free to snack on these delicious nuts. Happy holidays and thank you.

Sincerely,

Special K

Um, I gotta go enjoy myself in the kitchen now, snacking on delicious nuts...